September 13, 2017. Parenting through divorce: Dos and don'ts. The courts will look at each parent’s relationship with the infant, home environment, income and many other factors to determine custody. In addition, we each had parents who were acrimoniously divorced, and we both wanted to avoid any situation where our kids would feel caught between us. But the study does lend more weight to the wisdom behind the shift towards joint shared physical custody. It can also help two parents compromise and figure out how to co-parent an infant post-divorce. When you are making a custody agreement for an infant, you should always think about what would be best for the child. As the authors of the Swedish study say, this concern is likely rooted in attachment theory, a school of thought that suggests young children need oodles of stability and predictability in their relationships with their caregivers while their first attachments are still developing. If you are breastfeeding your child, for example, you may need to start pumping or switch to formula so you and your co-parent can both spend time with the baby. Divorcing parents can get caught in a tug-of-war over custody.In cases where parents can’t agree, a judge will create a custody arrangement based on the evidence presented, including any expert opinions.The goal is to determine what will serve the child’s needs or best interests and set up a custody … With that in mind, we’re going to discuss some of the best child custody arrangements for young children… 310.777.0231 Mindful and co-operative shared parenting can work well in all kinds of structures. When I say very young children, I am thinking about infants … Will the kids alternate weeks living with each of their parents, or go back and forth in some other sort of even split? This isn't an easy question to answer, as it will depend on many factors. Try to keep an open mind and remember that your child’s best interests are most important, even if that means sacrificing time so your infant can be with your ex-spouse more often. None of this is to say that one parent alone can’t raise very well adjusted kids. Maximizing parental time with the infant. Equally allotted joint physical custody (JPC) is on the rise in most of the Western world, and researchers from Uppsala University in Sweden have concluded that this is a trend in the right direction. Although each family is unique, couples in the past have found success by including a few key elements in their custody agreements. You can work together with an attorney to help you both create a suitable plan that works for both parties. Shared Custody Schedules for Newborns A shared custody schedule divides the newborn's time between parents in a way that's developmentally appropriate. It must be as detailed as possible, with a breakdown of each specific holiday and how you will both care for the infant. Try to look at this thro… Click here to learn more. Once you have an agreement, you and your spouse must sign it and bring it to a judge. Best Custody Arrangements for Toddlers... parenting plans for kids aged under 4. While of course every family is unique and there may be a strong case for a different type of arrangement in any individual situation, these findings may be helpful to many post-divorce couples asking: what now? A new study of preschool children examines the psychological effects of different post-divorce living situations, By Brandie Weikle Time-share is a schedule of each parent’s time with the child. Most parents find it beneficial to modify a custody order as the infant gets older and his or her needs change. While there is no precise definition of the "best interests of the child", one way to think about it is to consider what parenting arrangement will best encourage your children's development, happiness and success. A parenting plan consists of two parts: time-share and decision making. The California courts encourage parents to create their own parenting plans before handing the matter over to the courts. Studies show that this arrangement … You and your co-parent will have to sit down, express your main concerns, look at each parent’s schedule and try to compromise on a plan that will be best for the child. Changing things as your child grows. 2029 Century Park East, #3160 However, there are some other great 50/50 custody arrangements for families with preschool and elementary school aged children… Read more: 3 books that helped me co-parent. • Joint physical custody is a lousy "compromise" between disputing parents. 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